Ga-lu

In 1973, my parents, along with my two sisters and I, immigrated to the United States, headed for Greenwood, Indiana…yes, Greenwood, Indiana...I’ll write more on that later. Anyway, when we arrived, my sisters and I did not speak a word of English, except singing the “ABC’s”. My father; however, did speak English…not by much…typical survival phrases like ordering food for us at McDonald’s. In fact, when I was enrolled in the third grade, my father wrote on my school notebook, in Korean, “Rhae-suh-two-rum” – another survival word. (Notice that a two syllable word became four). I guess in some ways, the word “restroom” was my first English word.

Years passed and with my English improving, I started to lose the Korean accent. In fact, I began to have difficulty understanding Koreans with heavy accents and those who would add extra syllables to words, when they spoke English.

Can you guess these five words? It’s written as it sounds

Tee-ahs poh phi-ahs
Ga-lu
Mong-ga-mary wa-du
No-ru-dhon bu-lu-ba-duh
Ma ma roh nek Lod

Answers at the bottom of page

About eight years ago, when I was living in our circa1840 saltbox in Newtown, Connecticut, my parents, Michelle and I were in the kitchen, cooking and chopping away, preparing our evening meal, when the phone rang. Michelle picked up the phone but with all the commotion in the kitchen, she put the phone on one ear and her hand over the other. Listening to the caller, her lower jaw dropped, as if words were stuck in her mouth, and with a puzzling look on her face, she yells out,

“Indiana Police!!??”

“Whaaat??!!” my mother yells out as all bangs and clatter in the kitchen now silent.
“Why would Indiana Police be calling??!!” Michelle questions, pulling the phone away from her ear, shrugging her shoulders in question.

I jumped in, immediately taking the phone from Michelle’s hand and without a word, handed the phone to my mother.

I knew it right away. The caller was my mother’s Korean friend, calling from Indianapolis. In Korean, when someone refers to themselves or is calling out to another person, they will announce themselves from their location (as in this case) or will say that they are the parent of the name of their oldest child. For example, my mother is known as Sonya’s mom. As a child and even now, I don’t know the names of any of my parent’s friends since we always called them by being the mother or father of their oldest child.

That same year, Michelle and I were talking about starting a family and much discussion pursued. My mother let it be known, that she wanted a boy and began feverishly cooking exotic Korean dishes to make sure that Michelle was fertile, strong and best prepared to increasing the odds of having a boy. One night, while I was walking into the kitchen, I saw Michelle and my mother standing close and whispering, like two middle school girls gossiping in the hallway. Michelle, being much taller than my mother, hunched over to hear my mother whisper.

As I arrived in the kitchen, I hear my mother say,

“…you know… so the woman has to…uh…what’s the word…organism, first.”

“Organism?” Michelle replies, looking puzzled.
“Yeah, you know… women...organism.”

“Ohhh, you mean orgasm!” Michelle yelps, trying to choke back her laughter.

Essentially, my mother, with her old wives tale, was trying to communicate that, for a woman to increase the chances conceiving a boy, the woman needs to orgasm first.

Pam
Paper tower
All (soup)
Honey

My Costco shopping list from my mother
“Soup” is “soap”- laundry

So ten months later, after taking my mother’s advice and eating all her exotic Korean cooking, we ended up having a boy.

Answers:

Tee-ahs poh phi-ahs: Tears for Fears, the ’80 new wave hair band.

Ga-lu: Glue. Heard first time from my friend Kwang’s mother.

Mong-ga-mary wa-du: Montgomery Ward, department store. This one is from my mother.

No-ru-dhon bu-lu-ba-duh: Northern Boulevard in Queens, NY. Ironically, this is THE hub of Koreans in New York.

Ma ma roh nek Lod: Mamaroneck Road, in White Plains, NY. Spoken from a Japanese sushi restaurant owner, when I asked for directions.